Dil Chahta Hai (2001) has had a significant influence on me. The first time I saw it, I was enamoured by Akash's carefree attitude and his belief in letting others live their life. At that point, I aspired to be like him. As I matured, I found myself identifying more with Sid. I then, saw myself as Sameer someone who is goofy, uncertain, romantic and often afraid of the consequences of life. As funny as it may sound as I continue to age, I have come to appreciate Subodh’s practicality and adherence to a schedule for eg: sleeping at 9:30 pm on a Friday is not a bad thing! I've always maintained, that the characters in DCH represent the different phases of a millennial's life. With this realization, I am eager to continue with my series of unsent letters from an invisible but pivotal character from DCH. [In my previous letter, I wrote to Jai from Jaane tu ... Jaane Na (2009) as Meghna, you can find the link to that letter here.] Romance in these sarcastic times is rare, Mohabbat as they call it is dead, with this theme in mind another fictional character comes in my mind. Presenting - What if ! Esha, Tara Jaiswal's daughter wrote a letter and never sent it to Siddharth Sinha.
Disclaimer: All the inspiration from this comes from varied sources but the core content and character sketch and breakdowns comes from Pankaj Sachdeva's book on DCH that is available free for an online read. It’s obvious that the character arcs, political scenarios, reference to incidents are fictional any resemblance to someone alive or dead may be intentional but I do not get a lot of readers so won't be an issue.
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Dear Siddharth,
Mom always said that the day I met Sid, he picked up fragments of my emotional baggage. Although, she enjoyed the occasional whiskey, it was my father who would in the formative years of their quarrels told her to gulp a drink, sit down and be quiet. I vividly recall Vakil Mama, presenting a dramatic argument in court, referencing the famous song, "If alcohol were the source of intoxication, then the bottle itself would dance. Therefore, who amongst us is not intoxicated?". I now understand that it was my father's decision to label the bottle on her head, his tactical prescription would eventually become the reason he won my custody in court. Although, you tried removing the label, it left scars.
She was always the artist, her designs spoke volumes of how she deeply understood her clients and their assignments. She joked however, that she couldn't understand her own husband and she broke her own house. In a way you refuelled the dying star and brought her back to life for one last outburst of joy. I am writing you this letter because, I found one of the letters you wrote to Mom when you were in Kasol and studying contemporary art. This one in March, '99, in which you and mom were discussing love between 'homosexuals' and 'transgender', and you were advocating that 'love is love', whereas mom being mom was not ok with this. In your argument you gave a brilliant response citing Ardhanarishvara is a deity that emerged from the merging of Shiva and his consort Parvati, possessing a male right side and female left side. That the figure represents the unity beyond duality and symbolizes communication between gods, mortals, and genders. Similarly, the Mahabharata tells of Krishna, another avatar of Vishnu, taking the form of Mohini and marrying Aravan to allow him to experience love before his sacrifice. I was so impressed that you knew the meaning of love, life, like you were literally enlightened! These incidents you cited demonstrated that love transcends gender and that gender itself is a human construct. I used this as an argument in a Parliamentary Debate but then again even educated individuals around me demanded proof of these myths. I believe your upbringing has a big part to play in all of this, your mother always gave you the freedom to ponder, to reason and tried to understand your love - what your heart wanted. She always gave you the freedom to chose your profession, passion and stood by!
I still have the painting you made of mom, your love is confessed all over the canvas, on her lips painted by your thumb, in her messy hair inside but trim and proper outside, her happy eyes, her soul the afflicted masterpiece, it has brushstrokes of emotion, a bond that cannot cease, you've given rough strokes that feel soft on her face you could never hold so tight. I have come to realize that I am the teddy bear in the parachute, tumbling down into the depth of her love. Art imitates life, but love transcends both. I guess one needs to literally fall in love, a fall cannot be controlled, it can't be planned, can't be avoided, can't even be explained. I believe it shouldn't be explained or justified. My generation on the other hand wants to reason everything out, break down the packaging of products, movies, or even recipes, just to enjoy a deconstructed version of it. It's difficult to find love, as it is hard to find considerate and honest people like you. My pears consider people like us as nerds, psychopaths, artist types who talk big and perform small, and not to forget the trope that an artist is selfish about their characters, feelings, and ambitions. Moreover, we know that we have options, if one doesn't work then something better, upgraded or matured will be delivered. We forget that the marginal arc of hope decreases with partners who just want to have physical relationships or worse, dump exaggerated drama on us. I don't know who to blame, the multiple choices we get enticed towards or the fact that we fear that our love won’t be reciprocated. Expectations are the root of all heartache, that's probably why we fear love, we fear that it will damage us. Mom did purchase a souvenir bird before she left us, she said it was damaged. The bird could only flap its wings but could not fly, it wasn't even caged! A bird with clipped wings, a souvenir, a broken thing, in its stillness, I saw her, love, like the bird, that can endure and now when I think about love I feel I am that bird.
You told her once that "Kuch Rishtey Hai Jinka Koi Naam Nahi Hota", true! You can't live with that forever, somewhere down the line the name of this situation-ship nonetheless evolves or devolves. May be its that, we are scared to sacrifice anything for love, it is a secondary need due to the threat of global warming, world war 3, energy crisis, global financial breakdown or just simply the outrage one gets after an Uber cancels, when the Zomato delivery agent is late. Just like you went to Kasol, may be even I should go find love in on a mountain, where there is peace and calm, but what I hear the glaciers are melting and hill stations are getting warmer. Or maybe I'll just escape to Goa with my friends, go to the abandoned forts, check out some art, have some beer! I'll probably go alone or drag my friends out of bed.
Thanks again for being there with Mom, when she needed calm.
Thanks for being the escape for her, in times where health clipped her wings.
Thanks for giving me the hope of being a romantic in this sarcastic world.
-Esha
P.S: Your email ID was a hidden treasure, I uncovered it from the depths of Bandra's art world. I wish to intrude upon your life, If I require your presence, I'll ask for permission, for I have no intention of being another Jaiswal, causing disruption in your serene universe.
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DCH Trivia: You can see this souvenir of the clipped bird in Sid's hand in the scene after Tara's death when Sid, Sameer and Akash are at Tara's house as the truck with her stuff leaves. (click to see pic).
Comments
When I watched DCH as a 19 yr old, to me Tara Jaiswal was the needless emotional speedbreaker in the awesome life of 3 cool kids. Of course I learnt otherwise as I finally "grew up". Rewatching DCH now makes me wonder on how the arc between Tara and Sid would have been if the movie was made 20 yrs later, when such a age-gap would not be frowned upon as much as it did back then. Another what if...
I remember watching it in the first week and was blown away by how Indian cinema had transformed with the movie!
Keep writing - have to go through your other blogs now :-)
P.S.: Another trivia about the movie - Abhishek Bachchan was to play Aamir's role and Hritik to play Akshaye's.
Yes I know AB Jr. was to play Aamir and would have been crazy.
Please keep reading !
I loved the blog, the sincerity and the maturity that is depicted in the emotion of love is what is scaring the world right now and how it is perceived these days is put meticulously. The concept of love is unequivocally spoiled by these Romantic movies. It has become taxing to put oneself in the rut of love only to know the failures at the end. Expectations come in naturally and there is nothing wrong with them, the challenge is to know who is worth keeping them with and who to invest in. I must also mention, you are right, the array of options has kept people on their toes. They don't value what they have currently but what they can have in the future, just as they say, you lose the moon while counting the stars.
I follow a poet who writes, 'It's a risk to fall in love, young boy said. No, there's too much risk in not, said the old man'
After whatever and however my love life has been, I empathized with your article, but I think I am hopeless in love and I am willing to fall in it again come what may. That fall makes me feel alive and that love makes me want to live another day looking forward to those rainy nights crawled up in blanket with my man!
Keep on writing more. :)
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and sharing your thoughts on it. Your comment truly made my day, and I appreciate your kind words and your willingness to engage in the discussion.
I completely agree with you that, regardless of our different life experiences, we all face some kind of struggle in our lives. And you are absolutely right about the way love is portrayed in popular culture and how it can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointments. It's important to recognize that love takes work and dedication and that it's not always perfect or easy.
I'm glad you found the sincerity and maturity in the emotion of love that I tried to convey in my writing. And I couldn't agree more with the quote you shared from the poet. Love is indeed a risk, but it's a risk worth taking. It's what makes life worth living and gives us hope for a brighter future made by you.
Thank you again for your support and encouragement. I will definitely keep writing and sharing my thoughts and experiences, and I hope to continue to engage with you and others who share similar perspectives.
The perception on how all the characters of dil chahta hai is us millenials in some form is intelligent! The fact that a daughter can be so enouraging for a mother in dead is precious
However, this letter seeks to challenge this fear and encourage an open-hearted approach towards love. It argues that to truly know someone, and to love someone, one must first accept them for who they are. Love is not something to be feared, but rather an opportunity to connect with another human being on a deeper level. By letting go of the fear and embracing an open heart, the beauty and joy of love can be experienced to its fullest.