It’s been almost 5 years since I’ve not posted anything online. People following me on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram @d_demandasouras and @scratchmeifyoucan3 are mostly aware of my whereabouts. There's a lot inside that has come invariably through shares, DMs and/or comments and sometimes banters on stories. So here goes everything: -
Disclaimer: Nothing herein below is targeted at any political person, party or institution; any coincidence to the same is an alarm for a mental health check-up and/or revisiting some of the most popular principles of the erstwhile father of the nation (I am told Trump thinks otherwise). Yes, the man who fought with the west who were just here for business and nothing more. Any resemblance, passing remark, metaphor, simile and/or pun is not to hurt, injure, slander and/or defame anyone person, animal, or robot - living or dead. Yes, I am just writing nonsense so this is probably where you should stop reading.
This happened like a month ago before the lockdown before this COVID – 19 became a Pandemic before home and office were different geographic locations. It was a relaxed Saturday morning, I was hunting for the newspaper and some breakfast coz hey, I am always hungry. Until someone awake from the past few hours blocks my way:-
Coco: Greetings hooman, how late you got up … we gotta play... take me outside …
Me: bro, you are super scared of the noises outside, remember how you jumped on me after getting barked on by Oscar! (Oscar is a dog in our Building)
Coco: but, hooman this time I want to go up …what is there upstairs? Will I find more treats?
Me: no darling… the treats are all inside the cabinet, the door of the same shall be locked until further notice.
Coco: I still can’t open that door. (Whispers: I will open that door one day!!)
Me: What did you say? (Thinking: he can open the other door in the hall, not too far until he opens the cabinet that has his treats and food)
Coco: (after seeing me lock the cabinet door with a lever) why did you do that hooman?
Me: I want you to eat nutritious food and have treats on weekends and on special occasions! Look at Piku, he is healthy, wealthy and wise, he knows how to melt my heart. Moreover, he isn’t piggish like you craving for one more always.
[This is when I think, where is Piku? The Answer: he is sleeping on the bed I just got up from]
Coco: After this lecture, I am in no mood to eat, I will throw a tantrum now. [he comes near the newspaper I was thinking of reading and tears the front half page]
Me: Awesome! Happy? Now you wait and watch I am drawing a boundary near your food and treat cabinet, you’ll not be able to eat it unless you are Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, Jain, Parsi, and Christian,, if you came from the west side neighbours or east side neighbours and only if you were born before 31 December 2014!
Believe it or not, this is the crux of the affair at home right now. I mean all Coco wanted was access to treats. Which he should get, it is his birthright. But who am I to control his movements, his living and most importantly I do not have to right to shut his voice. Sadly we are not living in nations controlled by any gas-rich Prince or one that was invaded by the country for the thirst for gas. Try going for dharnas, strikes, or tearing paper like Coco did, such a naughty one he is, I tell you.
Just when I was about to take my breakfast he came in my way and sat right there, no reaction whatsoever to what I was doing, silently sat and looked at me with his cute little cat eyes. Within minutes I opened the damn cabinet and gave him two treats. Sadly, after a brief glance at the newspaper I was done reading it and just rolled it and threw it aside. (actually of course I folded it, properly for Lajwanti and then kept it for radio). But here’s what grinds my gears, if you had the majority then go ahead and propose an amendment to the preamble and get the words secular cut off, then enforce the uniform civil code and voila … we are in Germany of the 1940s forever. All these moves of amendments and then registering, counting and detaining cats from treats would be then in the right sense – legal! It was done by a ferrous lady who knew the difference between divide and rule and rule between the divided. Not sure if most of you reading this were born then, but then again the comments on my past few posts have been of people who were born then or were prevented to be born then – yeh, nasbandi happened then!
Try that in 2020! Actually, if you can stop a few notes in today’s day and age, you can stop tacos from entering Texas by building a wall, you can stop colleges, you can postpone hearings as the state of the home is not peaceful enough and of course, as we have learned before we can lock the cabinet door that has the food and treats.
Coming back to that, have you wondered this Amendment is silent for people who were forcefully converted, who possibly have no religious beliefs whatsoever, who are transgender and hence do not get a place in society – for them religious acceptance may be a dream and lastly the kids who were abandoned and sadly are not the popular religion around. Moreover, there could be a Jew who come back from some part of the world and loved India but nope he better pack his bags and go back to whichever nation he came back from, euros will again look expensive for that poor chap.
Now coming to the main contention, which Coco very rightly has put forth, what is wrong with this entire act? I am just saying after these acts of hatred towards a target community, you still have stupid people from the popular community who would hate the fact that this hatred is causing a disturbance and will not vote. So by counting these Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, Jain, Parsi, and Christian all I am doing is securing my vote back for the next elections.
I mean come on! Someone who understood the whole move isn’t going to vote for them, him or whoever is closely associated with the colour which once stood for the strength and courage of the country. But here’s the thing he secured votes because the Toilets were clean, the neighbourhood was clean, the minds of the youth were for a brief moment fixed on the Mangalyaan and even if its lander failed to do a soft landing the encouragement to the ISRO Chief was a moment that the nation saw.
This was the other thing I was telling Coco recently – See he has an issue if you pick him up, play with his toy, walk past him, go to the loo or simply are asleep on a Saturday morning – he cries! And not the regular cry he will get up on your nerve and burn the town, throw papers, break DTCs (Delhi Transport Corporation Buses), put flags and basically cry. This brings me to DCH.
Me I mean it’s not wrong to cry, Aakash cried when he learned about the loss of love, cries of heartbreak. Hell - Aakash, Sid and Sameer cried with their friendship restored, tears of joy. Arjun cried after a dive in the ocean and experiencing serenity and calmness in the depth of his heart – cries of relief. Coach Kabir Khan cried in the end when the Rakshasoon ki seena won the International Woman Championship – those were tears of success. Mohan Bhargava cried to mourn the loss of Dadaji, Sunil cried because Aanna loved Chris, Chris loved Aanna and well Sunil did love Aanna.
Coco: Yeh but I want food and treats
Me: Bro I just gave you food and treats.
Coco: Hooman!! Give me treats.
Me: I just gave you a lecture on crying is cool. Cry and let your inner fears, and inhibitions get out in that one drop of tear. This behaviour of yours is whining!! This is what the difference between crying and whining is, this leads to collateral damage. Like what happened in every riot that happens in India. it's all this toxic masculinity and listening to stupid leaders who gain votes through hate speech. After looking a the number of people who have suffered in this massive masculinity outrage, I wonder… How did this happen? Yep, this is the question I asked myself, what happened? The answer to this was something my dad gave me after a legit round of debate over the constitutionality, saneness and non-democratic stand I was taking after banning Coco from accessing the cabinet door for food and treats. It was apparently in their election propaganda or portfolio. I did a bit of research myself and found that 35 A was but 370, 144, Amendment Act I couldn’t find. In fact, during this round of debate, I told him that the next step after the exodus of this community and/or its genocide would be Hindus, Kshatriyas, vaishyas, shudras, Dalits, tribes, blah blah. This is what reminds me of the Civil war in Egypt which was fought between once brotherhood communities.
This process is endless and will lead to the future generations reading history with hatred filled right from Babri to whatever will result of this communal hatred to in fact what was rightly shown in Laila or 1984 or a post-Hitler regime. Whilst there are thousands of issues from the melting of the ice-caps to the hangings of the Nirbhaya, to coronavirus, to the diminishing economy, rampant unemployment and what not which should be part of the discussion in the Parliament and not Elphinstone Road to Prabhadevi and defiantly not Allahabad to Prayagraj. Talking of changing names this poor coronavirus requires to be renamed. I kid you not corona yes the beer company has filed a case to change the name of the virus. Maybe they should go to UP for a change.
For a week I thought our religious differences had at least vanished, everyone, is at home with their family. Finally, a piece of heartwarming news that corona has no religion, no caste, and no preferences gave me content.
Ruk gaya tha sama, Ruk gaya tha rasta, hass rahe they kuch, roo rahe rahe they sabhi, kudrat ka hai khel yeh, jeet uski jo baithe ghar
But coming this week the news of a maulana break-in, before which as people forget some CM did go to perform a puja on day 1 of lockdown and thousands of bhakts did flock at “so-called” religious places before they were going to shut. I sincerely hope they remain shut forever and at least one person in every family realizes that cat treats, 14 hours of sleep and aimlessly running around are the happiness of life.
With this rant of mine, coco has fallen asleep in his cat house on his cat tree and I sing (obviously hanging a big dhol around my neck ).
Duniyaa main kitnihai naftrateen ..
Phir bhi Whatsapp forwards main hain hate message…
Mar bhi jaayee, secularism wale
Mit bhi jaayee, riots control karne wale
Zinda reheat haiinke jaaten, caste, differences
(in this pseudo unity that we live in.)
Comments